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Your Marriage - keep it exiting  by using these 8 tips.

 

  • Be positive towards your partner and express appreciation

 In marriage, or any other partnership, being positive and expressing appreciation can be at the bottom of your priority list when daily life seems like one long “to-do-list”.  When the list grows and grows and your partner does not seem to be helping lighten the load, resentment can set in.  If you don’t feel appreciated and you start taking each other for granted, maybe even criticize, or blame each other; you or your partner may become vulnerable to the attention of people outside of your marriage or your relationship, that makes you feel special and valued.  To avoid this trap, start talking in a positive manner about the things that makes you feel connected, wanted and loved.

  • Plan to spend quality time with your husband, wife, or partner

Purposefully schedule “US” time within your marriage or romantic partnership.  Even spontaneity, sometimes, needs planning.  If you don’t plan it, it might not happen.  Don’t let “life” get in the way of your romantic endeavours.  When it’s Monday, start thinking up a fun plan for the weekend.  Get things on your calendar weekly, not just on birthdays and anniversaries.  Purposefully schedule future events – a festival, sporting event (whatever is your thing) – so you have things to look forward to together.

  • Communicate with your partner

Set aside at least 15 minutes check-in time every day, to communicate on a one-on-one basis with your partner.  During this time, try to really hear your partner’s heart.  Communication is the umbrella under which all other connecting processes are woven.  If you can hear each other’s hearts, your relationship can withstand many things.  Talk about your relationship, your future and the things that really matter to you. 

  • Marriage does not mean you can let go and neglect yourself, keep taking care of yourself

It’s much easier to keep the spark in your marriage alive, if the spark is still alive in you.  Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup!  Do self-care things like spoiling yourself with a massage, pedicure etc. and take the time for pursuing your own goals and interests. 

  • Show your partner you don't take them for granted, take care about how you show up

It is wonderful to love each other unconditionally and to be able to just be yourself, comfortably lazing around in your tracksuit or going without make-up.  But, when you go on a date with your spouse (e.g. date night) put some thought into how you show up.  Think back to all the effort you put into your grooming when you were still dating, and let that lead your imagination.  Remember, when you look good, you feel good.  When you feel good, you do good!

  • Keep the spark in your marriage, have regular date-nights

To keep the spark in your marriage set aside one night per week or every fortnight, if that will suit you better, for just the two of you.  This is time within the marriage that is separate from family, friends and children.  Use this time and keep the conversation lite and polite, escape from the everyday worries and frustrations.  Explore different venues for this appointment.  Be inspired the way you were when you first met your husband or wife.  Try a new romantic restaurant, go for an early sunrise hike, try a brunch date or something that you don’t normally do.  Do the unexpected and keep romance and excitement alive. 

  • Marriage should be a no-secret zone: Make your marriage a no-secret zone

Honesty and transparency are very important aspects of your relationship.  To know that you can share anything without being judged brings a feeling of safety and freedom.  It is not always easy to share certain things and ideas, for fear of judgement by your partner, but sharing creates vulnerability which leads to intimacy.  You can’t experience intimacy if you keep secrets from each other.  Preserve your relationship by communicating often, in a transparent way and by placing yourself in your partner’s shoes. 

  • Bridge the sexual communication gap in a romantic partnership

Sexual passion starts with communication.  Couples are more likely to stay together when they improve their sexual communication skills.  Remember, your spouse is not a mind-reader and will not know what your erotic needs are if you don’t communicate them to your partner.  Improving your sexual communication can bring passion back into your lives, increase your loving feelings and recharge your relationship.  Talking openly about sex lets you experience a greater level of intimacy and safety in your relationship.  A vital and healthy interest in sex along with a passionate curiosity for life, are some of the ways to keep your relationship alive for a very long time.

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